Recently God has led me on the journey of learning to love myself and as I go into this journey I have already learned so much. I know it’s so cliche to say but loving yourself is so key to experiencing a change in yourself and your life. Whether your trying to attract a specific person into your life, get your ex back, get a raise, start a business or expand a business, do more fulfilling work or just have a more fulfilling life, surprisingly enough, self-love is a key factor in it all.
For me, self-love has become the missing piece with my relationship with God because I believed what God said but I didn’t believe it for me. I didn’t believe it in my core that I was worthy of His unconditional love and I still felt that I needed to “deserve” it. And this is all subconsciously. On the surface, I thought I believed it and some days I didn’t but it’s not until God really opened up this journey for me that I really started understanding, reprogramming, and accepting His truth, unapologetically. I am now 33 (almost 34, in 2 weeks) and I am just understanding and getting this even though I always heard about loving yourself.
Honestly, I think I did think I loved myself, I mean I considered myself a pretty confidant person but as I actually been on this journey I started to realize that I didn’t. I think most people think they love themselves because they are confident but I can almost guarantee that no matter where you are in life, a self-love journey will take you deeper mentality, spiritually, and physically.
So for those starting, here are some points to get started…
I know a lot of people will say that you start loving yourself by “treating yourself well” or “accepting yourself” but for me that didn’t work or at least not long term or ongoing. I felt like that was more of a struggle and I felt more resistance to that. I’ve also been working on learning to listen to myself, which gets easier as you increase your self-love.
There is definitely an obvious place and necessity to start treating yourself well and of course accepting yourself but again I believe everything begins with making the decision and commit that no matter what you are going to experience this journey and growth, even when it’s hard, hurts, or don’t make sense.
Sometimes on this journey, it will not make sense and it can get exhausting mentally trying to reprogram your mind new beliefs because your mind will reject them at first.
So I would say to first commit to the journey of loving yourself. Yes! Journey… so that should help you feel better that it’s not about making it anywhere but to instead every day progressively move in that direction of loving your self.
Affirmations to start…
Now start with the affirmation “I love myself” and/or “I am loved”. Say it over and over and over and again. Outloud and in your head, in meditation, in the mirror, while driving, while walking, working, etc. Say it! No matter what! No matter how it feels because it will feel funny at first. You’ll also start to get some resistance.
Ways to say them:
First thing in the morning, gratitude then “I love myself and I am loved”.
Take 5-10min in the day and quiet your mind (through meditation or deep breathing) and say these affirmations.
In the mirror. Look yourself in the eyes and say “I love you”, “You are loved” and compliment yourself.
Allow and Accept
Saying one or both of those affirmations will seem like nothing at first and weird. It will even feel not worth it. Your mind will fight you on these words because it wont to believe them. It will try to give you all the reasons you can’t love yourself, mistakes you made, flaws, etc. It will bring up people who treated you in non loving ways that were supposed to love you but keep saying them, over and over and over again.. out loud and in your head. No matter what your doing, say it!
To allow means to allow the resistant thoughts to come, don’t fight against them but accept them and continue to imprint that “I love myself” regardless. For instance, you’re saying “I love myself” and your mind is like ” what about your weird big toe, you don’t love that”, “but your too fat”, etc. You accept it by saying “yes, I LOVE myself”. Drown out the negative thoughts with positive affirmation.
At this time, while your reprogramming your mind to love and accept yourself, all of you. Just focus of the affirmations, not on choices that you might have made or are making that are unloving. That will come.
Analyze and Adjust
As you focus on these affirmations and your body starts to accept it, your body will start talking to you and because you love yourself, you start to hear it more… LISTEN! This is when you’ll start making changes naturally. As you feel yourself with love, everything else that contradicts it has to leave.
Your body starts talking to you by feelings and resistances. As you flow throughout your day, feel it out, observe it. What feels good and what brings up resistance or a feeling of uncomfortability? Some you can separate from and some you have to find another way to adjust, like if it’s your job lol…
So if you normally hang with critical or negative people, you will naturally start feeling resistance towards them because you guys energy is not on the same level anymore.
When you first start feeling the resistance towards your “normal” things, you may not be ready to make the physical change yet. It’s okay. Continue to say your affirmation, constantly, still over and over and over again.
Forgive and Be Gentle to Yourself
Apart from loving yourself is learning to forgive yourself and being gentle with yourself. As you start to reprogram your mind, as I said before, it will challenge you with old past choices and current choices that you may make that is not very loving like, smoking or something, your mind might say “if you love yourself, then why you putting tht in your body and you know it’s not good for you”. Than you can start saying, “your right, I’m so stupid etc.”. It sounds funny but it’s how our mind works and us. But don’t. Just say to yourself, “it’s ok, I’m growing and becoming better and better everyday”. Than continue… “I love myself, I love myself, I love myself… “.
Remember your choosing to love you right where you are. Just as you are. Unconditionally. Flaws in all. Perfectly imperfect. With no requirements. Full acceptance.
This is a simple way that I found that has helped me really kick off my self-love journey and when I’m feeling flustered, I default to “I am loved” and “I love myself”. I also say “I am love”.
As you do this small exercise, the results are magical both inside and out.
I challenge you to do it for at least 21 days in a row. I also recommend this book, called “Love Yourself Like Your Life Depended on It”. I have it on audiobook and listen to probably like once a month. It’s really short but it made me be more consistent with saying it and seeing the results.
Next post will be talking about HOW to love yourself…
Make sure you leave your comments below. I would love to hear how it goes for you.
If your having trouble letting go of something in your life, whether temporarily or permenantly, be sure to check out my post on “The Art of Letting Go”
Many Blessings and Love.. India