Untraditional {Marriage} Beginnings

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Find out to repair and restore a marriage that had a bumpy beginnings.

I hesitated writing about this because it was/is a personal matter. But I’ve been praying that I glorify God with my blog and every other part of my life and so the Holy Spirit was nudging me to write on this.

I’ve spent countless hours and days on marriage blogs and they always seem to have the storybook beginning. As I read through countless posts on how couples are so in love and how it was love at first sight and how they married the “man of their dreams” and on and on and on. 

Even though a lot of the blogs, I love to read and are very encouraging. I was searching for a blog that reflected more of how my marriage is and how my marriage started but haven’t found any. And as I continued to search without much success, I found that jealousy and envy was rising in me.

I envied those relationships that I thought I would have. Or those beginnings that I always dreamed about and missed. I started to desire my husband to be like some of those men {yes, that I never net} and I even wanted to have some of the attributes of the women.

These feelings started more frustration in me and at my husband and I knew it was time to go to God. As I prayed and asked for forgiveness and help. I was so ashamed and embarrassed that I had allowed myself to get swallowed up in other peoples lives that I had {untentionally} decided to abandon my own life.

Conversing with God, He reminded me that His plans are great for me, for us.

11For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11

He also reminded me that the mistakes we made in the past do not matter once we have turned to Him and He has forgiven us. He is a God that renews.

And He who sits on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” And He said, “Write, for these words are faithful and true.” Rev 21:5

And He promises that no good thing will be held back from those who follow Him.

11For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
The LORD gives grace and glory;
No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly. Psalm 84:11

My marriage is not the traditional marriage. I haven’t found one blog that has a story similar to our beginnings. 

The Beginning

My husband and I met each other in turbulence. We knew each other for about a year, when we went to the courthouse and got married. {As embarrassing as it is to admit, I guess I figured, if I marry him things would be better, he’ll see how committed I was and how much I loved him…smh} It was not all sunshine and rainbows and if I was in my right mind, I would have fled {but alas, I didn’t} but I didn’t because I was busy being rebellious. 

Once we got married, things did change but it was a whole other set of issues. I can say that 4 and a half years ago, I did not think that we could make it this far. But throughout the turbulence {in marriage} I held on to Christ. I had too. I was going insane, crazy, hurting. There were many nights I left out the house to drive to a parking lot with my Bible {not necessarily recommended, kinda dangerous}. Crying with a tear stained Bible.

5 years later and all I can say is Thank you Lord. I knew God before we got married and I actually was just praying to God around the time I met him to focus only on Him and I was going to be leaving in a few short months for Bible college and in a blink of an eye, life was in an uproar.

The Point

I write this for those of us that do not have the traditional fairy tale of a proposal, wedding, or marriage. I hope that through my story, I can encourage you that if you place God in the forefront, He can and will give you beauty from ashes. We have a long ways to go but God has done some beautiful things in our marriage with us as individuals and as a couple.

To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the LORD has planted for his own glory. Isaiah 61:3

I’ll be praying for you and God Bless…

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